Venting - good or bad?
So how do people deal with issues with illogical rage, I wonder. For me, I try to whine as often as I can ;) But there are still things bottled up, which aren't addressed either because -
a. I don't feel comfortable discussing it
or
b. I am chicken-shit and evade the issue
In either case, the most common outcome is that at some point there's a catalyst which blows everything out of proportion - I explode at some unsuspecting victim and the world watches in horrified shock. Well, not the world, of course, I don't think I am that narcissistic, but there are often on-lookers who have to wonder - "Where did that come from?"
So what's better - talking till people's ears pop about every single issue that bothers you or keeping it all inside until you have a potent mix waiting to be unleashed on a minor offender? How can I find that balance, I wonder.
Most often, though, explosions aren't as bad as they initially seem. They normally unearth some ignored, often deep-seeded issue which can then be worked on. I had a long talk with my boss about pair programming today. It was a good converation. I think I need a whole new post on pair programming :) All in good time.
I was also thinking that being a good listener is such an unhealthy quality. Do you really want people to feel comfortable enough to discuss all their problems with you? There's only so much you can take before you say "Too bad, so sad." after all. Note to self: Try to be uncaring when people talk to you about their problems. And that's so tough cos you know I am sooooooo caring :)
a. I don't feel comfortable discussing it
or
b. I am chicken-shit and evade the issue
In either case, the most common outcome is that at some point there's a catalyst which blows everything out of proportion - I explode at some unsuspecting victim and the world watches in horrified shock. Well, not the world, of course, I don't think I am that narcissistic, but there are often on-lookers who have to wonder - "Where did that come from?"
So what's better - talking till people's ears pop about every single issue that bothers you or keeping it all inside until you have a potent mix waiting to be unleashed on a minor offender? How can I find that balance, I wonder.
Most often, though, explosions aren't as bad as they initially seem. They normally unearth some ignored, often deep-seeded issue which can then be worked on. I had a long talk with my boss about pair programming today. It was a good converation. I think I need a whole new post on pair programming :) All in good time.
I was also thinking that being a good listener is such an unhealthy quality. Do you really want people to feel comfortable enough to discuss all their problems with you? There's only so much you can take before you say "Too bad, so sad." after all. Note to self: Try to be uncaring when people talk to you about their problems. And that's so tough cos you know I am sooooooo caring :)
posted by Luv To Write | 7:19 PM
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